Year One: 23 Lessons Learned
1. Wrinkle-free sheet manufacturers are full of shit
2. Crying when you can’t find the outdoor hose bib shut-off might be a disproportionate response
3. Coming in to flip the house between guests is our least and most favorite task
4. Having an order notification pop up from a guest purchase is always a huge serotonin boost
5. Having guests check out at 11am and new ones check in at 3pm is too hard core for us
6. Plants die if you don’t water them - and if you do
7. There are other people out there in the world who see a vintage Sesame Street Viewmaster and feel like owning it would make their life complete
8. It is possible to sweat completely through your shirt when the alarm company calls you at 5:30am and the guests say there is no smoke and you don’t know the code to the panel to turn the alarm off
9. We can now caulk bathroom tile, change a duvet in under 5 minutes, get only slightly electrocuted changing a fixture, and properly use a level instead of “eyeballing” it
10. Estate sales have a particular smell that induces gastrointestinal distress… in Paige
11. Massachusetts has the best end-of-driveway free stuff, ever
12. When chipmunks go for a late-night skinny dip in your pool, it rarely ends with them getting laid (unless it’s to rest)
13. When an amazing vintage item shows up on Facebook Marketplace, don’t waste time sending it to each other to confirm that it is, in fact, super cool, because in that span of time someone else will buy it
14. We have yet to get a call from an Instagram follower saying, “I saw your double chin in that story you posted, and I am now violently ill”
15. If you put two Virgos in a room together, they’re going to do something great - and they’re going to show you that greatness in a graph or an overly complicated spreadsheet
16. The craziness of summer bookings is not followed by the ability to take September off
17. Room Occupancy Tax is something the state really does collect. It isn’t made up.
18. Some people think “please take off the sheets and put them in the laundry bag” means taking off the sheets, the comforter, the pillow shams, the mattress pad, AND the zippered mattress cover
19. The solution to having too many bags of garbage in the outside cans with days to go before collection involves gloves and a tiny bit of trespassing
20. Breathe - no one is going to notice if the color in that Instagram graphic is slightly over-saturated… except for Nevine
21. Number of people x number of days = unreliable formula for toilet paper stocking. Some bitches be shittin’!
22. Having a chronic illness is a great life hack for creating a work-life balance
23. It turns out the target market of girls/gays/theys, vintage lovers, disability advocates, joy-seekers, and all-around cool humans isn’t too narrow, rather a recipe for inclusivity and stupid-good vibes